Wednesday 29 September 2021

Deodonont, Lightbulbs and All The Fruit

Hey folks - yes, it's been a while. Over two years, in fact. This morning I found this curious pair in Waitrose, sitting all lonesome-like in a shopping trolley. I had a few questions about them....


First: Fruit - ALL. Like ALL the fruit. All of it. Give me everything you've got. I'm panic buying. Blame it on Covid though, nothing to do with Brexit.

Then there's Reduced Fat... something. Mummy? Might be hummus but who knows?

Then there's that perennial requisite, Deodonont.

After shower gel and soap comes a magazine... Hit Magazine, perhaps?

Chicken Beasts and Beef (Stelling) rounds off page one.

Then after the first two entries on page 2, the handwriting changes and starts out boldly with something called Granda? I guess that might be granola.

Then there's the curiously named Oi Fage. Fage is a yogurt brand, so I guess it's 0% Fage. These are clearly posh folks, because most people would say 'yogurt' rather than one specific brand. 

We have local jellies. Make sure that whatever jellies you have, they're local. No point having jellies ten miles away, you couldn't eat them.

There's some kind of bag... salad bag?

But the two authors were definitely looking for lightbulbs, as both of them managed to write it, one of them getting mighty specific with the word (DIMMER), although the penmanship is poor so it looks like BIMMY.